So turns out the reason OBD (and unbeknownst to me the cigarette lighters/power ports) problem was because the fuse (#17 on fuse block on drivers side of dash) was blown. And apparently at some point Ford switched to mini fuses so I had to go buy a new pack of fuses.
Okay, I hit something with the car today. And most days that’s uneventfull, ’cause the beast is a turd and i dont care about it. but also normaly i only hit cement things with the car. but today i hit the DUMPSTER! and it went GOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGGG!!! IT – WAS – AWESOME.